Portland parents can drug test their kids.

Portland parents can drug test their kids.

Parenting in Portland can be a tough gig. Parenting styles vary widely here as Portland attracts so many different kinds of people. Some parents want to encourage free expression and complete trust, while other parents may dream of locking their kids in a dungeon to prevent inappropriate behavior.

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In Portland, badass is as the badass map says it is.

In Portland, badass is as the badass map says it is.

While at Stanford, Ph. D. candidates Larry Page and Sergey Brin created Google. Pretty badass, right? WRONG! You want to know what’s badass? Badass is when two Portland State University grad students used a variety of data to create a map of Portland that shows the level of badassery in neighborhoods across the city.

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It’s hard to be a brooding college student if you can’t smoke.

Recently, Portland Community College banned smoking of any kind on its campuses. The problem? Attaining the image of a brooding emo kid deep in thought is much easier to pull off with gentle clouds of lusty lady tobacco softly puffing from the end of the cowboy killer delicately placed between your lips. If you can’t smoke on campus, why not stroll to one of the nearby residential areas right off campus?

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Portland is unprepared for earthquakes… or flying monkeys.

Did you know that Pioneer Square Mall is not at all retrofitted against a rampage of rabid rhinoceros? Or how about Voodoo Donuts possibly collapsing at the prospect of not having the capacity to handle a convention of Oprah fans with a mad-on craving for No Name donuts? How about the Portlandia statue being able to resist the vicious attacks from a pack of crazed flying monkeys fresh from Oz?! Whenever there’s a disaster somewhere in the world, there will inevitably be comparisons regarding the unpreparedness of other cities to that disaster. In this case, Portland’s public schools are not prepared for a 9.0 magnitude earthquake like the one that hit Japan.

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Two sides agree in education? Never say never.

Let’s get serious for a moment – education should be a top priority in the U.S.

Education is the only way we’re going to inspire future generations of forward-thinkers who can help regain/maintain the U.S.’s competitive edge in terms of innovation and prevent Idiocracy from coming true.

Unfortunately, the education system in the U.S. has developed a bad reputation over the years with a lot of in-fighting with sides not understanding each other.

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