Remember how in the movie Ghostbusters, ghosts started appearing right before the Ghostbusters actually formed their team? In light of the recent string of really bizarre burglars, we’re starting to wonder if Portland’s going to get its own superhero soon.
Tell us if you think this sounds like a good idea: go to a BMW dealership, steal a loaner car, then head to a Walmart in Chehalis to shoplift as much as your freshly-showered hands can carry. Oh, did we forget to mention that you got arrested and released a few days ago for breaking into a house, taking a shower and then calling the 911 on the homeowner because her doggies scared you?
We enjoy poking fun at Portland’s crazy liberal, unbelievably academic, drug-exploratory little college, Reed, as much as the next inane blog about Portland run by crazy nutjobs, but even this goes a little too far: someone in China has stolen photos from Reed’s website and has created a fake website, presumably to steal money from unsuspecting college applicants.
Okay, we must admit – seeing U.S. Representative David Wu dressed in a tiger costume threw us back a little, but it also made us think; wouldn’t the world be a little better if all of Congress wore its crazy on the outside?
There are a lot of issues affecting Portland these days – rising unemployment, an overcrowded I-5 bridge, gang crime and smelly coworkers. Fortunately, the city council has gotten together to solve at least one of these issues – the new fragrance-free policy will grant council employees a reprieve from their colleague, Big Bertha, who wore enough of Paris Hilton’s “Just Me” to suffocate several elephants.