Portland is unprepared for earthquakes… or flying monkeys.
Did you know that Pioneer Square Mall is not at all retrofitted against a rampage of rabid rhinoceros? Or how about Voodoo Donuts possibly collapsing at the prospect of not having the capacity to handle a convention of Oprah fans with a mad-on craving for No Name donuts? How about the Portlandia statue being able to resist the vicious attacks from a pack of crazed flying monkeys fresh from Oz?! Whenever there’s a disaster somewhere in the world, there will inevitably be comparisons regarding the unpreparedness of other cities to that disaster. In this case, Portland’s public schools are not prepared for a 9.0 magnitude earthquake like the one that hit Japan.