Do you like your produce ugly? We’ve got good news for you.
Are you one of those Portlanders who goes to the animal shelter and coos over the goofy-looking dog? Did you like the Pontiac Aztek, one of the most hideous examples of committee-designed automobiles ever (best known from Breaking Bad)? If so, we’ve got good news – Imperfect Produce is coming to Portland.
Tired of people moving to Portland? At least now we know who to blame…
What are the 25 counties in the United States most responsible for sending their residents to our fair city, ruining our entire experience, and creating even more people who hate people who move here?
Only in Stumptown is it breaking news when it rains for the first time in 57 days.
Knowing that the Pacific Northwest is basically the birthplace of rain (we practically invented the stuff), you’d think it wouldn’t be a big deal to Portlanders when weather started falling from the sky. The truth couldn’t be further from this idea as media outlets all over Stumptown blew up with BREAKING NEWS as a few drops of rain fell from the sky overnight.
Nukes and volcanoes coming after Portland, oh my! What’s next, Tesla launching Skynet?
Many Portlanders live in blissful ignorance of the many natural and man-made disasters threatening our very existence here in the Pacific Northwest – St. Helens, Crater Lake, and, heck, even Mt. Tabor, are all active volcano ranges intent on taking us out.
Everybody scream for ice cream! San Diego’s stealing Salt & Straw (but not really…)
Those darn Californians. First, they move to Portland and annoy us all with their terrible driving habits and all their money raising our property values and improving our local economy, and, now, they’re stealing our Salt & Straw!
It takes a solar eclipse to make Salem hipper than Portland for the first time in nearly 40 years.
The first solar eclipse passing over the United States in nearly 40 years is coming on Monday, August 21, 2017, and Salem will be the best city in Oregon to see it! Is this the first time in four decades that Salem has been cooler than Portland?
How do Portlanders lose 25 pounds? Turns out, there’s an app for that.
With all the great food in Portland, losing weight can be a challenge. However, sometimes technology is there to save the day – the MyFitnessPal app helped one of our staff members lose 25 pounds.
Imagine Portland with Solar Freakin’ Roadways
Portlanders love green energy. We really do. We even opt in to pay a premium to use wind energy to power our homes instead of fossil fuels, nuclear or hydroelectric solutions. So, imagine this – what if we replaced every sidewalk, road and playground with solar panels?
Oh, and this isn’t a dream – this sh*t is happening right now and YOU can be a part of it (but only for a limited time).
How do Portlanders choose Apple OS X or Microsoft Windows?
The Apple vs. PC battle has always raged here in the Stumptown offices. We decided to put together a primer to help Portlanders choose between the two.